Recently I posted this status update on my Facebook and Twitter pages to thank the people who supported my IndieGoGo campaign by placing a pre-order for my Raised by Bats album.
"People ask me how many true fans I have. They look at the number of likes on my Facebook page, followers on my Twitter page and subscribers on my Youtube page and get confused that the number is in the high tens of thousands. It's an illusion. I can tell you exactly how many real fans I have right now. 335. This is how I know! ; )
I have some sad news to share. Honestly, I've been avoiding it, but the time has come when not talking about it is creating more awkwardness than just coming out with it. On October 1st of this year, my wife and I would be celebrating our 4th year wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, it's not to be. After nearly four years of marriage and a couple more of dating, we are parting ways. It saddens me so deeply that things didn't work out. It's been a difficult process for both of us to come to this decision, one that I really don't wish upon anyone. Nothing is worse that seeing your best friend in pain.
I can't tell you enough that there is no good guy or bad guy here. No one did anything terrible to the other and in all of those years, we remained one hundred percent faithful to each other (which people doubted was possible since we both travel for a living). But we started out as best friends and through our relationship, neither of us lost sight of that. On the rare occasion when a woman prodded me to do something I shouldn't I would always reply with, 'my wife is my best friend in the whole world. Now, why would I want to do that to my best friend?' It helped to put things in perspective.
Unfortunately, we simply came to a place in our relationship where we wanted different things. I can't say enough that she was the perfect wife. I could not have hoped for more, I lacked nothing anyone would wish from a relationship. She is beautiful, funny, loving, caring and far more patient than I could ever imagine a person being.
This is a very difficult time for both of us and I sincerely and humbly ask that you give us the two things we need most at this time. That is space and privacy. Also, unless you are a very close personal friend of hers (and I don't mean you met her a at a show once... I mean you have dinner with her regularly) I beg you not to contact her. She was never completely comfortable with the concept of my fans emailing her, adding her on Facebook, etc... She is a VERY private person and for the most part reserves her internet activities for people she knows really, really well in real life. I assure you that she has an amazingly supportive and wonderful family and a large circle of very dear friends by her side. So please, while I truly and greatly appreciate your desire to want to reach out and console the both of us, I ask you to PLEASE let her heal in her own way with her family and close friends.
It's going to be a rough time. I am not going to lie about that. But it's also a new beginning. It's a bit scary. To be honest, I have never felt comfortable alone. I enjoy my own company, I enjoy my own thoughts, I have no trouble traveling alone, going out to dinner by myself, spending hours or even days without speaking to a soul. I actually really, really enjoy solitude. But romantically, I've always felt I needed someone in my life to make me feel complete and now, it's finally the time for me to work on that and to try to be okay with being alone.
Well, by popular demand I've decided to commit to paper... virtual paper that is, the incredibly bizarre conversation I endured tonight while sitting in a cafe in NYC. As I begin, I tell myself it will only take a few moments to jot down.. I know it will take vastly more time than that. But, here we go anyway...
As many of you may have started to notice by now, I have not yet been announced as a guest at this year's Dragoncon. In fact, it's starting to look like I may NOT be invited this year at all. I have long since lost count but I believe that if I'm doing my math correctly, this would have been my 15th year in a row performing there! Hard to believe but true.
On a weekly basis, I get hundreds and hundreds of messages via email, Facebook, twitter, Youtube, etc... As many of you already know, I go to great lengths to try to respond to most if not every one. Of these messages, a good handful of them every week are requests for me to check out or inspect or critique someone's work. As it happens there are several reasons why it's impossible for me to do that or perhaps more importantly, better that I don't. None of this will be terribly easy to swallow for the artist who just really wants to share their work with another artist they admire and I'm fairly certain that there will be those who will think me incredibly arrogant for saying some of the things I'm about to say. But for the sake of sharing these ideas communally (and saving myself the trouble of having to explain my position, ineloquently in 140 words or less on Twitter, week after week to an earnest young artist seeking guidance or acceptance, let me say it here instead.
Let's start simply...
A Small Dream Come True
Twenty eight years ago, when I first ran away to New York City I spent a lot of time walking around at night. I had lots of free time on my hands back then. I worked at a record store my first four months in New York and when I'd get off work around one o'clock AM, I would take to walking the streets. It always amazed me how quiet and desolate the city could be in the wee hours of the morning.
A True Twilight Zone Moment
Thursday, March 15th, 2012
I'm sitting in a cafe on 3rd street and 2nd ave and believe it or not, I'm still shaking a little bit. Nothing really traumatic has happened, mind you, but I have quite actually just had a true Twilight Zone moment...
Well, I guess Sucker Punch got me all riled up (see last post). As often happens, I juggle so many things at any given time that sometimes, I completely forget about certain projects or they fall into the background long enough to seem forgotten. In any case, last year, with an option agreement in place to develop Chi-Chian into a live action feature film, I thought about Chi-chian a lot. But when the option expired and I found myself writing and rewriting "Call of the Jersey Devil", working on a bunch of Deady toys, promoting the country record, writing a new record and seemingly always on tour, the old girl got a little neglected. Well, I'm getting back on track with Chi-chian. Just this week I started writing an outline for a Chi-chian feature film screenplay. I've waited too long for someone to step in and do this for me so now it's time I do it myself. And how better to keep the story close to what it should be, right? So hopefully, I'll actually have a script to shop around. It's a language that Hollywood understands. I've always been amazed at how I can walk into a meeting with a stack of Chi-chian comic books, drawings, a role-playing game, a maquette, the web series on DVD, etc... just really hit them with how much content there already is for this story and the usual response I get is, "I don't get it, where's the script"? So hopefully this will cure that problem and we can get moving forward.
I also REALLY want to write it as a novel. I guess I must have a burning desire to become a Sci Fi author! lol! But in truth, I just love telling her story and I'm very verbose (which doesn't work for screenplays). A novel would be the best way to be able to really describe her world in great detail and describe what she's feeling emotionally. It excites me tremendously! Again... I just have to find the time.
In the meanwhile... I will be posting episodes from the Chi-Chian "The Black Seed" webseries I originally made for the Sci Fi Channel's website back in 2000. An episode will go up every Tuesday at 8pm every week until they are all up. This week's episode will go up early due to a scheduling conflict. You can see them under FILMS right here on www.voltaire.net
I hope you enjoy the world of Chi-chian as much as I do!
I went to the movies tonight to see Adjustment Bureau.. which was fine by the way. But something happened during the previews that made me sick in that way you get when you lose so profoundly that your stomach feels like it drops into your knees.
This is what happened...
We were watching...